Monday, August 20, 2012

WWE SummerSlam Results and Afterthoughts

w/ Alex Archer & Violet Buttle
CM Punk defeated John Cena and Big Show to retain the WWE Championship

Alex: I think the right man won here, and the losers have an out as to why they lost. Show can claim he was teamed up on, and Cena can claim he had the match won. The match was entertaining, but I really do feel like anything the Big Show is involved in is just unbearably slow. With him having technically lost the match twice, I'm thinking (and hoping) this will take Show out of the title picture, leaving us with Cena and Punk fighting over who gets to lose to The Rock at Royal Rumble.

Violet: With Big Show in control for a bulk of this match, it moved much slower than I thought it would. Seriously, who enjoys watching Show plod through the ring while doing the few moves he is actually able to? Hopefully, losing the match twice takes Show out of the title picture (and any feud, if we're lucky). Overall, the right man won. Twice.

Sheamus defeated Alberto Del Rio to retain the World Heavyweight Championship

Alex: Oh my god, what a bore. I'm so tired of Sheamus and his current character. I don't think anyone believed that Del Rio was a threat to the title (thanks for the shit booking, WWE!). The only interest I had in this match was in the aftermath and whether Ziggler would take a shot at cashing in. That didn't happen, so this match was a giant waste of my time.

Violet: I don't understand how Sheamus can cheat in matches and steal cars but still be considered a good guy. How are people still cheering him?

Brock Lesnar defeated Triple H

Alex: So disappointed in this match. Had they not hyped it as, basically, a fight to the death, it would've been a decent match. Brock sold the stomach injury very well, and Hunter did a good job of desperately trying to keep from getting synched into the Kimura (although they went to that well about 10 too many times). It had the big match feel going in, but during and after, it was very flat. The "you tapped out" chants after the match had to have taken Hunter by surprise, but after a mediocre match like that, did they really expect the live crowd to pop for a defeated Hunter?

Violet: After how brutal his match with Cena was, I was expecting Lesnar to DESTROY Triple H. But he didn't. I mean, Triple H didn't even bleed. For a segment that was being billed as a "fight" rather than a "wrestling match", this looked an awful lot like a wrestling match. And a slow one at that.

Chris Jericho defeated Dolph Ziggler

Alex: I don't really understand this one, but given the two athletes involved, I'll give them the benefit of the doubt and see where they take this story tonight on Raw. The match was very well wrestled and told a great story, which came as a surprise to absolutely no one. It will be interesting to see where this leads, as Jericho is said to be touring with Fozzy full-time starting very soon.

Violet: I wasn't surprised by the good quality of the match, but I was surprised by the winner. I don't think this feud is over quite yet. I expect to see Ziggler get the best of Jericho before he leaves to tour with Fozzy.

Daniel Bryan defeated Kane

Alex: Kane, like Big Show, bores the hell out of me. Daniel Bryan, on the other hand, is the best thing the WWE has going right now. Combine those two and we got a match that I just wanted to see Bryan win. The finish was well done, but the raging Kane afterwards means this one isn't over, unfortunately.

Violet: Being that Daniel Bryan is pretty much the best thing WWE has going on, I was excited to see this match and even more excited to see him score a much needed win. I just wish they'd have him feuding with, you know, someone his own size. There were too many slow-moving big guys in this PPV for my liking.

The Miz defeated Rey Mysterio to retain the Intercontinental Championship

Alex: Great match from Miz and Mysterio. It was pretty much exactly what I expected. The way Miz sat up to avoid the post-619 frogsplash was hilarious. I'm glad to see Miz retaining the title over a great opponent like Mysterio.

Violet: This was one of the better matches. When Miz isn't serving as a jobber, I really like watching him in the ring. I hope he holds onto this title for awhile.

Kofi Kingston & R Truth defeated The Prime Time Playas to retain the WWE Tag Team Championships

Alex: I feel like I've been on repeat regarding the team of Truth and Kingston for months now: put the titles on a true tag team, push Kofi. That's what I was hoping for here, but we didn't get it. Now what for the PTP? Now what for the tag division? Strong tag champs that retain are great when you have a competitive tag division. When you only have a handful of random teams, it gets very stale, very quickly.

Violet: I think that one of the best ways to build the tag division is to use tag teams only, but, apparently WWE disagrees. The Primetime Players should have won this. A feud between them and Epico/Primo would have been way more entertaining than whatever is going to happen now. Guaranteed.

Antonio Cesaro defeated Santino Marella for the United States Championship

Alex: Santino's time as US Champion has long been over. Cesaro is a great choice to run with the title and, hopefully, strip away all the memories of the comedy-based US title matches we've gotten over the last few months.

Violet: It's about time for Cesaro's push and for the US title to be taken of Santino.


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